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<title>Blood for the Maunon by ChaoticEnby</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823702">Blood for the Maunon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticEnby/pseuds/ChaoticEnby'>ChaoticEnby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Depression, Oneshot for now, Post-Season/Series 02, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, clarke is really really sad, maybe I’ll continue it in the future, minor gore, really fucking sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:42:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticEnby/pseuds/ChaoticEnby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke struggles to accept what she did at the Mountain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Blood for the Maunon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clarke doesn’t look back as she walks away from the gate. She knows if she looks back, she might never be allowed to leave. She has to do this. She remembers the chant of the grounders— the Trikru— as they tied Finn up on that pole. “Jus drein jus daun” they had said. She later found out it meant, “blood must have blood” she thought maybe they had the right idea. </p>
<p>She had killed hundreds of people, she had to atone, so she stumbled through the forest. The farther she got from Camp Jaha, the more she wanted to walk. She didn’t want one of her people to be able to find her. </p>
<p>Clarke didn’t intend to kill herself. That was not why she left. Truthfully, she had left because seeing the faces of the people she saved only made her think of the slaughter that got them there. Briefly she wonders if this was how Finn had felt when he looked at her. </p>
<p>The deeper she goes into the forest, the more appealing death begins to sound. Blood must have blood, and she had caused more than one innocent to bleed. She tries to push that out of her mind. There are no mountain men left to call for her blood. </p>
<p>Clarke finds a clearing near the river, and decides to set up camp for the night. Building a fire is slow, but she manages. She has no food to cook, but the fire will keep her warm enough to sleep. </p>
<p>The sleep is restless and full of nightmares, but she carries on in the morning regardless. She stumbles tiredly through the forest, her mind constantly circling back to, “jus drein jus daun” </p>
<p>Eventually she falls to the ground, sitting against a tall tree. Hesitantly, she pulls out her gun and places the muzzle under her chin. A few lone tears fall from her her eyes. </p>
<p>She hates herself for not being able to pull the trigger. Growling in frustration, she sets the gun down beside her and buries her head in her knees. Loud, choking sobs tear out of her throat. </p>
<p>She might not be strong enough to die for them, but there are other ways to bleed. She pulls her knife from her sheath and slowly turns it over in her hands. Carefully, Clarke drags it across the top her right wrist. It leaves an indent, but does not draw blood. A few seconds pass and she drags it once more, just above the indent from before. She hisses as this one stings. Small pinpricks of blood well up to the surface. </p>
<p>She makes a few more thin, shallow cuts, and sheaths her knife once more. She stares at the small red marks on her arm for a few moments before rinsing them with water and covering her arm. </p>
<p>She inhales shakily and rises to her feet again. She wants to get farther from her people. She knows her mother has realized she’s gone by now, and Clarke’s not ready to be found yet. If they find her, they’ll make her go back, so for now she’ll find somewhere to make a shelter of her own. </p>
<p>Clarke continues on.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For now, this is it. I’ve been struggling to write a story longer than a one shot, so this is all you get. </p>
<p>Anyone have any constructive criticism for me?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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